Happy Chinese New Year Jokes 2019 [Funny Jokes]

Wishing Happy Chinese New Year 2019 with a good joke to start the year with humor and a big laugh.

Here is a selection of the best Happy Chinese New Year jokes for young and old alike.

Also, read Chinese new year greeting and Chinese new year wishes.

Happy Chinese New Year Jokes 2019

Here You will Find list Top 12 Happy Chinese New Year jokes 2019.

Happy Chinese New Year Jokes 2019: Funny Jokes

1. In the New Year, everyone uses their mobile phones to send text messages to celebrate the New Year. I sent 32 text messages on New Year’s Eve and I didn’t receive a reply. I sent 19 text messages on the first day, but I still didn’t reply. I sent 13 on the second day and still didn’t reply.
When I finally received a text message on the third day, I excitedly shouted to my mother: “Look, someone gave me a New Year!” Open the phone and read it, the text message is written like this: “China Mobile wishes you a happy New Year! By the way, tell you Your mobile phone has been in arrears.”

2. The Spring Festival is over, and all the radio stations have launched the songs section. I listened to someone in the taxi and called the radio to sing a song. A man called in and said, “I am a foreigner. Now I can’t buy a ticket for my home. I have to spend the New Year in Beijing. I want to order a song.”
The host asked him: “Who do you want to order songs too?”
I thought that this was still used, and it must be a distant parent.
Who knows, this man said: I will order a ticket to Chen Xiaochun’s “Age you” to all the ticket sellers at the train station.Happy Chinese New Year Jokes.

Read about: Chinese new year 2019 Year of Pig

3. Solve the good words from childhood and export into chapters. In the Spring Festival this year, he posted a Spring Festival couplet on the back door: “The door is against the thousand bamboos, and the family has thousands of books.”
It was very unhappy to see the door outside the door. I thought that only people like me would match this pair. The couplet, the servant slashed the bamboo.
After a while, the family came to report, and the Spring Festival couplet was changed into: “The door is short of a thousand bamboos, and the family has a long book.” The staff listened outside, very annoyed, and made people dug out the roots of the bamboo. The Spring Festival couplet has been changed to: “The door is short of the thousand bamboos, and there are thousands of books in the family.”

Happy Chinese New Year Jokes

4. Once upon a time, there was a young master who had a good time to eat, drink, and have fun and spent the legacy of his father. Not even Chai Mi.
On New Year’s Eve, the impoverished young master wrote a couplet and laughed at himself at the door: “The festival is an anecdote and the year of indifference.” After an old school study in Murakami, he lamented and added a word to the couplet of the couplet. It became: “Early anecdote, avoiding the indifferent year.”

5. Wife: “Tomorrow is the 30th, what are you going to send to my mom?”
Husband: “Send a few good cigarettes!”
Wife: “Are you crazy? My father has been dead for more than five years. My mother doesn’t smoke at all. Why do you want to send her cigarettes to her?”
Husband: “Because I go to her every time, she entertains me to drink tea.”Happy Chinese New Year Jokes.

6. In the New Year’s Eve, Fang Fang’s father hangs the New Year’s picture. After he hung up the first one, he told Fang Fang to see if he was hanging from the back with the first one. In order to discuss Geely, he said: “If I hang high, you will say that you are rich. If I hang low, you will say that you are healthy.”
When he hung the painting, Fang Fang looked at the same right and looked at it, so the report said: Dad, not rich, not healthy.

Best Happy Chinese New Year Jokes 2019

7. Ji Xiaolan was a university student of the Qing Dynasty. Once, he went home to visit relatives in the New Year. A family of three brothers asked him to write Spring Festival couplets. He wrote a “shocking portal, counting one and two people”, and the horizontal batch was the Spring Festival couplet. too is not a problem. Someone sinned him for the crime of deceiving the monarch in the name of “accepting.” The Emperor Qianlong learned that Ji Xiaoyu returned to Beijing to inquire. Ji Xiaolan replied: “Spring Union is what I wrote! This boss is selling artillery, isn’t it a “shocking portal”? The second is the market. It’s not the number one or two people in the sky. Isn’t it the first time to sell roast chicken? Is it that Qianlong also laughs?

8. At the end of the year, the husband’s private house money was discovered by his wife. The wife fired and punched her husband’s gold-rimmed glasses.
The husband squinted and grievances said: “What ages are there, you still use the plan economy to control me, so that I have no autonomy.”
“Independent fists are here in the old lady, now the economy is invigorated, and it has to be hit. Economic crime.”

9. Wife: “Tomorrow is the 30th. What are you going to send to my mom?” Husband: “Send a few good cigarettes!” Wife: “Are you crazy? My father has been dead for more than five years. My mother doesn’t smoke at all. Why do you want to send her cigarettes to her?” Husband: “Because I go to her every time, she entertains me to drink tea.”

Top Happy Chinese New Year Jokes to Make You LOL

10. Two days ago, the unit issued a year-end award, unfortunately, I I am on a business trip, so I sent a text message to my colleague for my collar.
Yesterday, I came back on a business trip. When I arrived at the company, I went directly to my colleague to ask for my year-end award. When I saw my colleague, I explained what I wanted. After listening to me, my colleague did not give me the bonus directly. Instead, I took out the mobile phone and said with a sigh of relief: “Xiao Zhang, I am sorry, please call me to call my wife to explain it. On the night of the bonus, My wife found out your year-end award. She took the money as my private money and confiscated…”

11. A couple of American couples living in China are chatting about Chinese holidays. The wife said: “Dear, we have to go through the Spring Festival. Twenty years ago, we had Children’s Day. After ten years, we passed Youth Day. In another ten years, you passed Father’s Day, I passed Mother’s Day; After ten years, let’s go through the festival for the elderly,…what holiday has it been for ten years?” The husband replied: “The Ching Ming Festival.”

12. I am a newcomer. I just went to work at the unit. I have to look at the New Year. Our unit is a one-day, six-day holiday. Several people take turns to take a break.
The leader told me to tell me in the past: “The unit is not enough. So you are on duty from the 1st to the 3rd. If you have nothing to do on the 4th to the 5th, just play in the unit…”

New Year 2019 Funny Jokes

13. The New Year is approaching, and the firecrackers are everywhere. Guo Jing and Huang Rong took a boat to Peach Blossom Island. Huang Rong: “Hey, Jing brother gave you a gift.” Huang Pharmacist: “Is this stupid thing, don’t you know that my yellow pharmacist hates these red tapes?” Guo Jing: “Hey, this is melatonin!” Pharmacist: “Oh!” Just about to reach out, the old urchin who was trapped in Peach Blossom Island suddenly jumped out, grabbed a gift, and cried: “This year’s Spring Festival is not a gift, the gift is only sent to melatonin, Huang Laoxie, you No, then give it to me!”

14. A colleague charged the phone number but mistyped the phone number. Because it was full of 100 pains, he gave the buddy a fight and said that he could charge me back?
As a result, the buddy was particularly depressed: “Brother, at the end of the year, all of them are accounts. I am so easy to stop, and you have filled me up!”

Funny Happy Chinese New Year Jokes

15. The New Year is such a beautiful: the flowers are fragrant, the wine is fragrant, the blessings are good, the memories are good, and the love is new. Even if there is nothing, as long as there is love, it will be enough.

16. On the New Year’s Day, I received a text message: “Today is Li Chun, I wish you a happy family!” Who is this kid? Li Chun has been through for several days. The bear can say: the poor is like this, the four bear paws are all sold; the soldiers said to the hill: brother, step on the mine, and the legs are gone? The king said to the emperor: When there is any advantage in the emperor, you see, the hair is white; the mouth is back and said: Dear, have been pregnant for so long, do not say a word; fruit to bare said: buddy, you put on clothes Not as good as not wearing it! Contrary to the North: Why do couples have to divorce? The towel said to the coin: wearing a doctor’s hat is worth a hundred times; Chen said to the giant: the same area, but I am three rooms and two halls; the day said to the cockroach: The weight loss; said to everyone: the new year, new The starting point, the new beginning; the blessing of the heart: I wish a happy new year. New year
New Year special introduction

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